I don't want to feel sorry for myself
but the alternative is hating myself
feeling disgusted
drowning endlessly in self-loathe
I don't want to feel sorry but what else is there to feel?
How much longer do I need to hurt?
When will I be able to experience joy without guilt?
I am sorry
I am so sorry
Do words have meaning?
Do apologies count for anything?
How many rights will it take to counter so many wrongs?
I don't want to feel sorry for myself
But the alternative is to bleed out the guilt
Which is all that I am
And by the end
There would be nothing left
